“If you don't feed Facebook, it doesn't feed you.”
--Kristi Stevens
THIS POST by Kristi Stevens has been percolating in my brain all day. Kristi is always one to inspire and uplift me and I love to read her stuff (book or blog) because she’s not only talented, but very wise as well.
In order to understand where I’m coming from, I’m going to share a little bit about my thoughts on Kristi. I met her for the first time in June of this year at a writer’s conference. We were part of the same workshop group and I had the lucky pleasure of not just enjoying being in the group with her but of being invited to share an evening with her and some friends. All of us had a great time and, I believe, began to nurture some wonderful, budding friendships.
That night, Kristi shared a story with me that changed my life. You can read part of that story HERE.*
Kristi is a gorgeous person, inside and out, and when I first met her, I was terribly intimidated by her. She’s GORGEOUS. And WAY TALENTED. I’m just very lucky that she gave me a chance to know her better because I found out that gorgeous and talented as she may be, she’s also just a lovely person to be around. She’s funny and witty while also being both wise and intuitive.
Today she wrote a post about distractions and diversions. It’s something I’ve been thinking a lot about because I’ve wondered if I just have my plate too full. Again, enter Kristi’s wisdom.
While I don’t have all of my own answers, I am ruminating on my solutions. You see, blogger is one of my distractions. I love it. I love reading people’s blogs and getting to know them. I love hearing their stories, sharing their triumphs and setbacks, connecting with people who get me in a huge way, and learning from people who are way smarter than me. But is has taken up a lot of my time.
Having pinpointed this as a “dis-traction”, I’m torn about what to do about it. I really do enjoy reading blogs. I really do love the friendships I’ve formed. Can I go cold-turkey? Do I even want to? Perhaps it’s just an issue of prioritizing and putting things in their proper place. Perhaps I’m not seeing the forest for the trees. Am I feeding my facebook or I am starving my dreams?
There are things I could probably do to save time and keep up the blogging. I could read fewer blogs. I could stop finding new ones. I could leave shorter comments—although I feel not me when I do that. (I work very hard to leave honest, heart-felt comments.) Does any of this matter or do I just think it matters?
I don’t really expect answers and I’m not really asking for advice but I just wanted to share with you, 1- Kristi’s excellent posts, and 2-my thoughts on things. I may be slowing down a bit and I wanted to let you know.
Please know that I enjoy your blogs. I enjoy my friendships with so many of you. There have been stories shared with me that enrich me and make me strive to be a better person. None of this is a reflection on the quality of content on anyone’s blogs—it’s merely me, thinking aloud.
For now, just know that I care and I’m still here.
--L.T.
18 comments:
I completely understand!
When I wasn't blogging at all last weekend, there was something libterating about just marking "Mark All As Read" in my Reader. But at the same time, I missed everyone!
I struggle with the same thing in regards to reading blogs. I've thought about cutting back to just one day a week, but then I know I'll miss a cool contest or something else. It's tough. I started reading most of my blogs to get a feel for the writing industry, but is it now getting in the way of my writing?
Good post!
It's a hard thing to navigate for me, too...getting some online socializing done vs. focusing like a laser beam on writing my novel.
I just read "Water for elephants" by Gruen and at the end of the book there is an interview with the author. What Gruen says is that it takes her usually 1 1/2 hours to move from the real world to the fiction world when she's writing a book. And that everything from her emails to ebay can keep her preoccupied.
So. I'm working on streamlining my blog reading to family, dear friends, and writing related blogs. More than that is really fluff. And I'm trying to use my blog as a writer's workshop for myself, posting a read-worthy writing exercise that I've done that day. At least that's the idea...
You got me thinking. Blogs are a diversion, a way of networking, learning more about your field and building a base of friends. As a writer, you live an isolated life. Blogs bring the world to you without driving time, gas or a babysitter.
But, it's all convenience, too. Only use it when you can, post when you want to and keep up when it lifts you up instead of drags you down.
It doesn't have to consume your life. Just pick and choose. Do what you can when it feels right.
Good luck. You are brilliant and gorgeous too, I would know.
I really like your thoughts on this post. I gues I try to remember that at the end of the day I am blogging because I enjoy it and if I start to find myself frustrated because I don't have time to post then I don't kill myself to do it. Know what I mean? I really love reading other people's blogs too and I agree with Laura, writing is very isolated. Blogging connections help me feel like I am not alone and that there are other writers out there with similar dreams and pains concerning their writing. I guess it is all about balance hey.
I wish I had good advice, but I struggle with the same thing. I feel when I'm off the blogging world, I'm out of touch with everyone. *sigh*
When you find out what works, let me know. =)
I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I can't remember when I wasn't part of this community and I only started Blogging in March! For me, it is a bit of an addiction. But understanding that is step one, right? The other part is that I don't have anyone around me *sniff* who understands the process of writing to publication. I am in the waiting period, so it helps me to wait, kills time, etc. BUT (and this is a bigggggg but) I sit at a desk all day, when I am not in class teaching) so I stare at a computer screen. I think it would be a very different thing if I was having to make the decision to put on the computer or not. That said, it is Sunday and here I am!
Crap!
I don't think there's a single committed blogger out there who doesn't understand this. It's a funny thing, discovering how addiction people can be. Prior to blogging, for me anyway, having that addiction in real life wasn't really an option. Because it was too hard, too much like work to get to know people. Blogging takes down so many of the normal barriers we put down in real life, allowing friendships to blossom in a field more fertile than I think has ever been known on this earth before. This is something both joyful and dangerous. The friendships we can form? Joyful. The QUANTITY of them, dangerous. I once found myself reading literally a hundred blogs a day. All sorts of areas in my life were suffering.
For me, the answer was cutting back. And slowly, but painfully, I've managed it. And I've built up a core of close friends who don't rebuke me if I don't post for awhile...who accept me for who I am, etc...
No advice to give, hun. I've some close friends who've cut out blogging almost altogether and it's been great for them. And I have others who've cut back like me and found more contentment that way. There are all sorts of tactics and schedules and whatnot that different people employ, but it comes down to what matters to you in your life - what brings you joy.
Just know that YOU bring ME joy. ~hugs~
You should know my thoughts on this already, and that I've been struggling with the balance of networking and writing and just living my life. It's very difficult. It's one of the reasons I unplug once a month for an entire week. Really helps me reset my priorities constantly.
But don't ever feel pressure to comment on my blogs, at least. I LOVE your comments, though, and I'm honored when I know you're reading and thinking about what I've written. But I think we can blow things way out of proportion on anything, so once again, just when you have the time and energy. :D
Thank you for that blog link. Yet another lovely site to follow! But cutting back is important. I'm not cutting back on the amount of blogs, just what I decide to read and comment on. I've slowed down a lot even in my own blogging posts. It's been a good change.
Good luck with everything! I'm always here when you need, just so you know. :D
Honestly, I do not have a reader and I only read about a dozen blog entries a week all total. Yes, it hurts my comment/reader stats, but it keeps me really grounded. I won't feel bad if you have to drop me. (Okay, maybe I'll feel a little bad. But I won't kill myself. I think.)
You already know what I did about this same issue. I stopped. I didn't stop reading, but now it's only a few over my morning tea. As much as that worked for me, I truly believe that you bring a special brand of honesty and love to both your posts and comments. I think that I am not the only one who would miss your presence here in blogland. It is refreshing and lovely.
Love,
Chelsea
I know exactly what you mean. In the process of 'building a platform' per my publisher's direction, I ended up following a LOT of great blogs. Now, it takes me hours to get through all the new posts each day. Such a dilemma, because I love reading them. But they take sooo much time!
I understand where this comes from. I was just commenting to a friend today that blogging has been taking up way too much of my time, but that I love the connections I've made. For once I feel like I have friends that get me. They have chosen to read what I write on their own free will. It makes me happy. but I can't accomplish everything else is I blog and comment at the rate I'm doing. I'm thinking I need to set blogging days and just cut down the amount of time focused on blogging.
I can understand! I have a similar difficulty, but kind of opposite. I have a mac, and you can have macs read text to you, so most of the blogs I read are read to me by my mac while I am at my job.
The challenge is finding time to write! I've forced myself to do some, but it usually comes to just an hour or two a week. As any writer knows, that's not enough. But I can't quit my job and start writing full-time until my writing can support my family.
Besides, what little time I get at home I try to spend with my family, and writing cannot be done with family around.
Argh... time, time, time.
- Chas
I'd be sad to lose you, but I totally understand. I do believe that every blogger goes through these questions at some point or another. There's a reason i blog sporadically and only read a few blogs. It was starting to consume my life as well.
You are fabulous!
I'd be sad to lose you, but I totally understand. I do believe that every blogger goes through these questions at some point or another. There's a reason i blog sporadically and only read a few blogs. It was starting to consume my life as well.
You are fabulous!
You're in good company, L.T. it is too easy to have other people's words take the time we need to create our own. We all have to find that balance, and it isn't always easy and yet we all understand it too.
How intuitive of you to read my mind and write this blog post for me so I don't have to. Exactly what I've been feeling about blogging and the internet in general. I've been wondering if it's a sort of addiction for me, one that keeps me from doing the meaningful writing I should be working on: revisions on my novel. I've just resolved never even to check my email without sitting down to do my work first. And that's starting...tomorrow.
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